used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize