I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think my moral compass just broke
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
