im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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