Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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