i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
