Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
