haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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