and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have tasted many bathrooms
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize