Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
