You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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