Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
