ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
