so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
