Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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