I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
