You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
