a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
