He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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