Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Let's paint friendship bongs
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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