I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
