Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
