Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
