you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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