alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't turn off my feet"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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