Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Found the puke drawer
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
