So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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