I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
