i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i came on her dog
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
