just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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