He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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