Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
