so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Houston, we have a blender
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
