My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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