and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
