Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
