your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wish you could order shots online.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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