Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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