I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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