All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
