i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
