Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
