Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
