can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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