Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
