Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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