oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
