Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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