no, he came in my armpit
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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