You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
