that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
