please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
