i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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