Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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