the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
