I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
