Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
