I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
