i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
