You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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