college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
