that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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