i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I need water and some morals
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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