man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
