He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
