we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Your cock deserves a montage
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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