OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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