wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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